Study finds women who party with Smart Artists more fun to study
According to a new study on females, those who rock out at a Smart Artists gig once a month are much more fun to do research on than women who do not rock out at a Smart Artists gig once a month.
Oh, and the report also found that women who have a few drinks each week are less likely to develop high blood pressure. Whatever.
The report published in the ‘Archives of Internal Medicine’ studied partying patterns among 70,000 nurses between the ages of 25 and 42 throughout the Northern Rivers of NSW and Queensland’s Gold Coast.
Shannon Beaumont, lead singer and guitarist of Smart Artists put the findings in perspective.
“Alcohol, 70,000 nurses, and us,” he said. “Is that cool or what?”
Beaumont and his bandmates were later told that the original study was to be about salt consumption. However, upon reflection the researchers decided that adjusting the parameters would dramatically heighten their interest in the research.
Researcher Eva Palava explains: “What it came down to was, did we want to say, ‘Here young lady, have some salt and let’s see what happens,’ or, ‘Here young lady, rock out to this band and let’s see what happens.’”
In fact, Palava theorised there would be much more interest in studying women’s nocturnal activities if alcohol were involved. Reaction to her study seems to bear this out, as already, several leading rock bands say they will attempt to verify the group’s findings.
At Southern Cross University, epidemiologist Bruce Cawthorn said his department is very interested in testing Palava’s conclusion that women who party with Smart Artists once a month increase their risk of developing high blood pressure by 30 percent.
But more importantly, she added, her staff is “totally stoked” by the finding that these same women were also, statistically speaking, party girls.
Palava, however, insisted their most valuable conclusion was that researchers could do variations on this type of study for years. “We could do how Shannon Beaumont affects blood pressure among female flight attendants, or how Smart Artists drummer Michael Brown affects blood pressure among female strippers.”
Palava, meanwhile, said she is working on “the Holy Grail” for this area of study ….. a report on how partying once a month with Smart Artists affects partying once a month with Smart Artists.
“We just have to figure out some statistically significant reason for doing it,” she said.
