On a recent trip to Melbourne, Smart Artists Bass player Matt Bone was confronted by a most unusual situation in a city fashion store.

The world renowned fashion icon and man handler, Jennifer Lopez, a.k.a. J.Lo, apparently on holidays down under tried on a dress when suddenly her ass spontaneously combusted.

Matt was shocked to say the least. “I guess it was about time this happened. She’d been carrying a lot of junk in her trunk. Now instead of focusing on her ass, maybe she’ll concentrate on improving her lackluster film and music career,” stated Matt.

According to Matt, Ben Affleck was on location in NZ shooting another blockbuster when he received the news. He quickly boarded his private jet and flew to an undisclosed Melbourne hospital to meet his on again, off again, on again, maybe off, okay on again woman.

Scientists are dumbfounded how a body part could simply combust.

Plastic surgeons are already planning on reconstructing her ass with a polyurethane material and butter. Until the surgery is completed she will only be able to be photographed from the waist up.

Matt shrugged off any suggestions he may need counseling.“Ahhh, she’ll be back in no time. She’ll put all this behind her and assume her daily routine…No puns intended,” joked Matt.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 1st, 2006 at 4:42 pm and is filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.