The music world was shaken by tragedy recently when members of the popular rock band Smart Artists collapsed on stage after being overcome by the stench of concert-goers during a recent Ballina Bowling Club gig.

The collapse occurred approximately 40 minutes into Peter Frampton’s ‘Feel like I do (Do you do)’. All band members became overwhelmed by a combination of body odor, marijuana and the patchouli oil many Smart Artists fans use in lieu of bathing.

The foursome was rushed to the emergency room of Ballina Base Hospital, where they were partially revived by emergency oxygen treatment. As of press time, the musicians are still listed in critical condition.

Though authorities are still debating the cause of the tragedy, preliminary reports indicate that a mechanical malfunction in the band’s on-stage ventilation system is to blame.

Despite the ventilation breakdown, many observers feel that the real blame for the injuries lies with Smart Artists itself, as for years the band has recklessly encouraged its fans’ non-hygenic lifestyle. “They’ve been burning the candle at both ends for way too long.

This was bound to happen,” said the EPA’s Helen Duenoff, who as chair of the Nimbin Hippie Band Toxicity Task Force has studied the effects of fan odor on members of bands like Smart Artists.

“Smart Artists message of ‘party now, wash later’ has simply got to change.” Preliminary testing indicates that as long as Smart Artists fans are not gathered together at one place for any extended lenghth of time, the stench rising from their unclean bodies will remain well under the life-threatening level.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 1st, 2006 at 5:25 pm and is filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.